A song parody of “Carry On My Wayward Son” by Kansas
by Irving Katz

Jerking off to Asian porn
Hundred million sperm are born
Lay my weary hand to rest
I can’t watch no more

When my wife was away at her mother’s
I had drinks with my fraternity brothers
I got really fucking wasted
Plus I got real high

To my car, I almost had to be carried
“No” to the strip bar ‘cause I’m happily married
But my laptop’s charged and waiting
Back at home for me

Jerking off to Asian porn
Hundred million sperm are born
Lay my weary hand to rest
I can’t watch no more

Masturbating starts with website selection
And I chose a Far Eastern direction
I can’t put names with the faces
But its ok if I don’t know

Paper towel in hand, I reached for the lotion
The scene began and I got into the motion
They pixellated all their privates
What the fuck is that?

Jerking off to Asian porn
Hundred million sperm are born
Lay my weary hand to rest
I can’t watch no more
No!

Jerking off, my wife will be none the wiser
Jerking off, like Old Faithful the geyser
Now my balls are nice and empty
Surely sleep awaits for me

Jerking off to Asian porn
Hundred million sperm are born
Lay my weary hand to rest
I can’t watch, I can’t watch no more